Rap Battles of FanFiction: Sonic the Hedgehog vs Kung Fu Panda
by jweaks2016
Summary: Your favorite characters go head to head to determine who's the best. Original characters and one or two OCs in here. See a character from each side square off against each other to see who's the better rapper. Vote on who won in the reviews, and we'll see which side ultimately won at the end of the book of battles. Rated T for some language (no F bombs though).
1. Blizzard the Cat vs Kiro Takimuro

**Hey everyone! Welcome to my first battle of the story! In this little book of battles, I'm doing rap battles between Kung Fu Panda (original characters and my OCs) and Sonic the Hedgehog (original characters and my OCs). Once I've done all the characters I wish to do, I'll move on to a new book containing two different storylines, and so on and so on until people get disinterested or I've decided to end it.**

**Note:**** This is rated T for some language. I'll try not to put any F bombs into this book. If you're like, "well that character would never say something like that!", just relax. It's supposed to be for fun and I have to make some stuff rhyme, right?**

**Enjoy!**

_RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Kung Fu Panda OC vs. Sonic the Hedgehog OC_

_Kiro Takimuro vs. Blizzard the Cat_

_BEGIN!_

Blizzard

There's a difference between you and me,

Kiro

I fought and beat the baddie,

Kiro

I wasn't captured, tortured, and I'm not a psychotic tiger,

Weirdo

How the hell did you lose to one dude?

You got shot by your own student. Crude!

You've been stabbed and dipped in fire.

Survived! Unlikely! An immortal tiger?

You've had so many fake deaths

That they put the audience to rest!

You better give up, kitty cat, 'cause I am the best!

You flunked, dude! This is your test!

Up until your last breath,

Kiro

You had a Disney death,

Kiro

While your kids ran rampant you stood by and watched them idly like

Nero

Your jokes are lame and are getting dumb

Why don't ya go back to being a bum?

My jokes are hot, but I'm ice cold!

The puns I make will never get old!

A jokester when I'm wanted! A badass when needed!

Take notes on being a hero! Here's my story! Go on, read it!

* * *

Kiro

Blizzard, huh? Like the Dairy Queen treat?

How can you be badass when you're named after a sweet?

I'm Kiro, son! The name strikes fear!

Blizzard just gives people a chilly rear.

You control some bits of ice and flakes of snow?

How'd you get your powers? No one knows!

I don't need special abilities to win a fight.

Hand me my staffs and you'll be out like a light!

Every joke you make, it came from me!

But your fans are too damn blind to see

How much of a copier you can truly be.

I am the Asian MC!

I'm a tiger! I roar like thunder!

I bring fury and pain asunder!

Your little meow scares no one.

Try coming back from that. Have fun!

* * *

Blizzard

You wanna know how you win fights so easy?

Look at your staffs! They came from DC!

Those are made from Green Lantern and Nightwing!

How did you not notice when you looked at those things?

As for joke telling? Ha! I'll freeze your ass!

Some of them are obscene! You have no class!

My laughs are funnier and clean.

I'm sorry, I hope I don't come off as mean!

Sike! You better toughen up, tidy-whitey,

Or I'll make you go nighty-nighty.

You couldn't last one day as me!

My whole entire life I had to freeze.

Guess what, though? It was all cool.

Now step back, Sonic. Let me finish this fool.

Get ready, Kiro. I'm gonna give you a decker.

Leave the rapping to me, and stick to Chinese Checkers.

* * *

Kiro

I'd gladly trade lives with you any day of the week!

The shit I've been through wasn't for the weak!

Parents died and homeless for years,

But I survived those times. Cheers!

Master betrayed me and my team got offed.

Through these issues, I wasn't soft.

Thrown in jail and girlfriend dead,

But through all this I kept a cool head.

Before I could commit any more sins,

I was kidnapped in the night by my crazy cousin!

Dragged to Japan and tortured for days.

Lost my sight and went into a daze!

My real dad was the emperor there.

He killed my brother. That wasn't fair!

Turned out he was always a giant dick!

Almost turned my sister, Tigress, into a prick!

Don't mention all the times I almost died!

The first time it happened, people almost cried!

I was invincible, son, but a bullet took me down.

But I'm still king, boy! Hand me my crown!

Now that I've appeased the reader

Why don't you go crawl back in your freezer?

_WHO WON?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_ANOTHER BATTLE APPROACHES! PREPARE!_


	2. Knuckles the Echidna vs Tigress

_Previous battle result according to the reviews: TIE (2 to 2)_

_RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Kung Fu Panda!_

_Knuckles the Echidna vs. Tigress!_

_BEGIN!_

Knuckles

I'm Knuckles the Echidna

And I ain't gonna kid ya

When I say I'll kick your ass all the way from here to Kenya.

Your moves are cheap and I could buy 'em for a dime,

But my fighting's so sick it should be a crime!

A guardian in the first. Kick-ass in the third.

Why's your face so contorted? Are ya gonna lay a turd?

This fight's the worst amount of time I ever spent!

Face off against a tiger that's got anger management.

You're stone cold to all, well, except for a panda.

You think that sack of shit's the only one who understands ya.

A short little master taught you all that you know,

But I'm self-taught, Tigress. You can't beat me, hoe!

Oops! I'm sorry! Don't go all Tyrannosaurus Rex!

I forgot you're the only one who'll never have sex!

You've heard about half of what I've brought,

But I'll be a good guy and we'll see what you got.

* * *

Tigress

An anteater, huh? You belong in a zoo.

You rap and fight well, but I'll still bury you.

You're confused with women and don't know what to do.

Which girlfriend is yours? Rouge or Julie-Su?

If Sonic hadn't come you'd still be guarding a gem.

Your life was made better all because of them.

I'll beat you so hard you'll be down on the ground.

You better get ready for a tiger-sized pound.

After that I'll call in the Furious Five

And when they're done, you'd wish you were never alive.

As for Po, I find him likeable, per say.

Found some Rule 34 that said you were gay.

Did I hit a sore spot? Falling from your mouth I see foam.

While you do that, I'll go save my home.

I am the deadliest, most vicious tiger around

And I'll take you out without making a sound.

So while you go give your friends a worthless pep rally,

I'll stay behind and protect my valley.

* * *

Knuckles

Is that all you got? You didn't hurt me!

You fight okay, but you rap really dirty!

I mean Rule 34? They have internet in old China?

Stupid! Illogical! Didn't anyone tell ya?

As for Rouge and Julie-Su, well I'll tell you somethin', Miss.

That proves I have girls wanting to get some of this.

At least I have friends and I'm not a so-called "loner."

Stop trying to look cute! You give no guy a boner!

Your adoring fans are the dumbest people on earth!

They think that the panda'll get with you and you'll give birth!

Interspecies is a no-no, so screw on your lid!

Even if it did happen, Po's so big, he'd have the kid!

You're really angry and you've got a lot of sass,

So why don't you loosen up and take that pole outa your ass!

* * *

Tigress

I won't interfere with what you think or believe,

But I WILL win this fight. I've got some things up my sleeve.

Interspecies is a no-no, huh? What about you and the bat?

You low life, stupid, hypocritical rat.

The Dragon Warrior's a better fighter than you'll ever be.

Just wait until he sits on you and then you will see.

My fans all know I kick some serious butt,

And I'm about to beat you in front of the readers. Uncut.

I don't try to act cute. That shit is for naught,

But I can't help it if people think that I'm hot.

You beat Mephiles but it won't go well,

When I bang-a-rang you straight down to Hell.

I've thrown this assault of strength at you.

Watch my two-fingered pushups. Kung F-U.

_WHO WON?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_ANOTHER BATTLE APPROCHES! NEXT UP: Shadow the Hedgehog vs. Tai Lung_


	3. Blizzard the Cat vs Kiro Takimuro 2

**Correction: Shadow vs. Tai Lung will be the battle following this one. Instead, here's a rematch. Enjoy!**

_Previous battle winner: Tigress (4 to 1)_

_RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION: REMATCH!_

_Sonic the Hedgehog OC vs. Kung Fu Panda OC_

_Blizzard the Cat vs. Kiro Takimuro!_

_BEGIN!_

Blizzard

Rematch, BITCH! Ready for round two?

When it's all said and done there won't be much left of you!

Again I'll take on this so called "Hero of China;"

No shoes and no shirt, but I'm still gonna serve ya!

A white tiger who's just misunderstood.

Fight me and get a swift kick to your man hood!

Your wife is an ugly old mountain lion hag!

While you were out saving China I showed her my icicle bag!

I'm the better cat and every person knows it!

I'll knock you out with just one measly hit.

You're tightly knit and are throwing a fit

While I tear you down, bit by bit!

Your heroics deeds are pieces of shit!

I'm beating you now, so ya might as well quit!

I'll jokingly and verbally bury you slowly.

Your actions are that of something unholy!

You're not heroic! You're selfish and endanger everyone's life!

Why don't you leave your boyfriend Po and go home to your wife?

* * *

Kiro

I'm don't date guys because I only like your mother.

Why don't you and Mute go back to making out with each other?

I thought I finished you off a little while back,

But I guess you didn't learn, so here I come to attack!

I'll whip out my staffs and summon my best rocket cart,

And slam sour raps out of you, which are worse than a fart.

Heh. Mine, though, are a work of art.

I'm wondering, though, did this battle ever start?

I spit raps that are cooler than your armpit stains,

Yet you think you can beat me. Have you gone insane?

You'll die alone with no friends and no one to love,

And you're naïve if you think you're going to that place above.

I'm a heroic, unofficial, professional rap wizard

Who'll whip your ass with my staffs. Watch out, Blizzard!

Your home will fall to chaos, but I don't think you can stop that!

Go back to being Dr. Seuss's Cat in the Hat, ya brat.

* * *

Blizzard

I'm giving you a warning, Kiro. I suggest you head it.

My friend, Mute, only comes around…

* * *

Mute

…When I'm needed.

You dare insult me? I'll put a bullet in your head.

Before you even hit the ground, you'd already be dead.

I'm an ex-soldier, expired many years ago.

Cast out in the tundra with the freezing ice and snow!

But you wouldn't know a thing about that. Would you? No!

Step forward, locked and loaded, and I'm ready to go!

I can't call you an enemy. You'd be my weakest foe.

But that doesn't mean I'll let you win, though!

Blizzard, let's beat this guy, lickety split.

I'll take it from here. Wait, where'd you go? Aw, dammit.

* * *

Blizzard

As you can see, Kiro, I've got help from everywhere.

I'll put you through Hell; all that wear and tear.

I'll knock you off into the depths of outer space.

I'll even eliminate the whole white tiger race.

This'll be the last time that we'll ever face.

I bring honor to my faction; you only bring disgrace.

* * *

Kiro

Your raps are so poor you had to call in help?

HA! Two can play at that game. I'll just yelp

For my good dead friend, who also happens to be my bro.

Hey, brother! Come here! Yeah! Sato!

* * *

Sato

I'm back from back from the grave

Just to make you my slave!

I'll cuff and shackle ya

No matter how much you rave.

A threat to Japan? You're a threat to none!

Now step aside, fools, and I'll show ya how it's done.

What made you think you could beat us? I have no idea!

Your raps are less complex than a chair from IKEA!

Combined, we're more of a threat than a stupid T-Rex.

Your voices are more annoying than a song from Skrillex!

Just back on up before I use my power swords.

I'll hide your bodies underneath my wooden floor boards!

Oh, and one more thing before I go.

It's about that arctic fox. You know, bro?

I got a secret about your girl whose name was Freeze.

She showed me a nice time. Man, what a tease!

* * *

Kiro

Don't try to call in backup when you're getting beat.

That kind of stuff just makes ya look really weak.

As for disgrace? I bring fans! Followers galore!

I'm so funny I leave people begging for more!

If we had an election of who's funnier, I'd have more votes!

Even though I'm a dead hero, you should still take notes.

_WHO WON?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_A new battle approaches! Prepare! Next: Shadow the Hedgehog vs. Tai Lung_


	4. Shadow The Hedgehog vs Tai Lung

_Previous battle winner: Blizzard (5 to 2)_

_RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Sonic the Hedgehog vs Kung Fu Panda_

_Shadow the Hedgehog vs. Tai Lung_

_BEGIN!_

Tai Lung

You made the wrong mistake entering this leopard's lair,

And now I'll rip you apart, starting with your emo hair.

Also people ship you and Sonic and the write on FanFiction

That you two are a gay couple and you ride on his diction!

Your quills aren't the only thing that makes you a prick!

Your phony badass attitude makes me wanna be sick!

Low voice and mostly black; a heroic dark male.

It's like you're the animal version of Batman played Christian Bale!

The "Ultimate Life Form?" Ha! You were beat in a snap.

History'll repeat itself and you will eat my rap!

Kiss my ass!

You have no class!

You committed villainy but then took a pass

To be a hero! In real life, they almost never win!

I'll destroy you, your friends and even your next of kin.

Shadow

Nice parachute pants there, ya 80's hippie.

You must've traveled forward in time. Man that's "trippy."

If you do Kung-Fu then I got a question:

Why does it look like your belt is from wrestlin'?

You only got one movie that you were in,

But I appear in several games and books. You can't win!

I'll enlighten you with this: now don't you see?

I've got games and comic books featuring me.

And all my stories are packed tightly as can be

In a big dick bibliography.

You got beat by a panda and an old Asian turtle

Never had kids. Might wanna see if you're infertile.

I got shipped with a bat too, forget about that?

Plus you're also shipped with a panda that's fat.

I'm a nightwatcher, a dark hero, plus a rap legend too.

I'll forever be better than the likes of you.

Tai Lung

Oh now I got you mad. Oh what do I do?

That's right, I'll just Kung-Fu stomp on you.

I catch a flow and get goin'

Show no remorse and no knowin'

What I'll be doin' in order to break you.

Four, two, I predicted the outcome.

And of course I'll win against a moody little bum.

I'm a martial arts god! You dare not face me!

Or slap the black off you and make you all pasty.

Shadow

While you do your little twirls and dances

You'll be caught in my crosshairs, doin' your prances.

Zoom in on my target and suck in a breath

And the pull the trigger. Pow! You meet your death.

I'll tear down China's evil side

Like a rap Apartheid

I'd say your best options are to run or to hide.

So sayonara, bitch.

Strip your pride. Your win is denied.

_Who won?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_Another battle approaches! Next up: Miles "Tails" Prower vs. Crane_


	5. Mephiles the Dark vs Lord Shen

**Warning: Unscheduled opponents approaching. New contestants.**

_SURPRISE RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTION!_

_Previous Winner: Shadow (2 to 1)_

_Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Kung Fu Panda_

_Lord Shen vs. Mephiles the Dark!_

_BEGIN!_

Shen

You've got eyes of a crack addict, yes it's true

And I have had it! Enough with you!

My doomsday machine will take you down

And destroy this pathetic little clown!

This calm, cool villain will drop a rap bomb

And make this little sissy run home to his mom.

Feathers of color and nerves of steel

Will make you squeal and before me kneel!

I'm a nightmare to all! I surprise! I shock!

I put the damn dick in the word peacock!

I have a whole army plus a navy too!

Don't stand in my way! I thought you knew!

How can you talk without a mouth?

That game you were in went deep, deep south.

And you can clone yourself all over the place?

Well, no one wants to see more of your whack-ass face.

* * *

Mephiles

Doomed! Ha! You're gonna die

With no one to love you and no one to cry!

You'll be awake with regret on your breath

As you mourn and suffer and pray for your death.

I will unleash the Flames of Disaster.

You'll be my servant and I'll be your master.

Your raps are as dull and as boring as plaster!

In order to beat me you have to rap faster!

You're a dumbass pigeon who made some mistakes

And killed all the pandas, which sealed your fate!

I can manipulate and travel through time

And I will now be kicking your ass with rhyme!

You wiped out thousands throughout the lands

And now you have innocent blood on your hands!

I commend you for that, but now don't you see?

You'll never be on the same level as me!

I'll unleash Hell on earth and watch you churn

While you helplessly watch your damn empire burn.

* * *

Shen

You're raps aren't scary

And you can bite me!

But that's hard to do without a mouth, agree?

Your videogame only got bad talk

'Cause there's nothing badass about a villain made outa rocks!

That ship with Elise and Sonic was hated a lot

Combined with the voice acting and horrible plot!

You have to keep your plan straight, not just wing it!

You couldn't keep your pawns in place! You hit it and quit it!

My name and raps will haunt you for eternity!

You just got your ass whipped by a badass birdie!

* * *

Mephiles

I'm about to skin a peacock and make it into a rug.

A group of eight beat you and your army of thugs!

You're the shittiest villain anyone could ever be!

That on top of being a horrible emcee!

I control the chaos! Bend it to my will!

If only I could force it to give you more skill!

I'm killing it! You're krillin' it! I'm hellish on vegetables!

Who Judo chop others and hide their tiny genitals!

I devoured you and your raps like a Tiger shark.

Remember my name: Mephiles the Dark.

_WHO WON?_

_DECIDE IN THE REVIEWS!_

_A new battle approaches! Next up: Miles "Tails" Prower vs. Crane_


End file.
